Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

And so it goes…

This Billy Joel song and I have had quite the past. “but if my silence made you leave then that would be my worst mistake so I will share this room with you and you can have this hard to break.” The song has been circling my mind today. Nothing significant happened but maybe it’s the darkness and the depression or maybe it’s the reality that this cancer is something I learn to live with, manage…it’s not something that goes away. It’s something that stays with me to remind me to be grateful everyday, to be mindful, thoughtful…and to put happiness first. It’s a reminder to speak gently, cautiously and lovingly to those around me and to give myself, grace and forgiveness.

I restart chemo on Monday. Been trying to keep myself busy and go out while I feel decent. The children and I went to see Kingdom of the Apes tonight after the flag football game which I attended (half his game and half her game). My mind is still busy but I just don’t want to think about too much.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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