Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

A Moment

I’ve needed a moment or a few to put thoughts into words. My biopsy results came back along with the cancer. It’s not clean. What are next steps? More of the same. Adjust medication, look into study drugs, wait, monitor and retest. I’m angry, sad, depressed but also grateful. I read the other day that fear and gratitude cannot coexist in your mind. When you have gratitude you can’t have fear. I thought that was interesting. I don’t know if it’s true, but I know that I am grateful that’s all I feel.

I’m okay and I’m not okay. I find myself unmotivated and requiring a lot more effort to do simple tasks. I don’t really want to do many tasks but I know I have to. Not even motivated to finish this post. I’m struggling. 

Nina's avatar

Posted by:

Nina

Leave a comment

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

Recent Posts

Newsletter