Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

August 2023

  • Morphine

    After and exhausting morning getting the picc line inserted – I wasn’t admitted to the hospital until 8:45pm. Then they told me unfortunately chemotherapy would be tomorrow morning not today. So I came here to sleep? Really? Nurse R said, I may just want to count my blessings because night chemo will be incredibly uncomfortable. Continue reading

  • Anxious

    I’m packed-ish. I brought what I actually used when I was at the hospital the first time. I’m watching Dexter: New Blood. I’m not super interested but I don’t want to sleep yet. 1:35am I couldn’t sleep sandwich between J and S, as comforting as it was to be near them every move and touch Continue reading

  • Quiet

    My wonderful neighbor brought over some lasagna so that we would have dinner tonight without much thought. So very kind of her. Kids and I went riding this morning and then COH called. My picc line will be inserted at 7:00am on Monday. Good f*cking grief. I’ll be admitted to the hospital afterwards but nothing Continue reading

  • Strapped

    At the time of biopsy the cancer returned at 6%. At this point now it is estimated to have multiplied to 20%-30% I will be admitted to City of Hope in Duarte this coming Monday. I will be in the hospital for at least a week while receiving chemotherapy- then the doctor will see how Continue reading

  • Crawling Out of the Hole

    I haven’t really been motivated to leave the bed the last few days. I’m on the verge of getting bed sores I think. M and D called to check on me but I just haven’t had it in me to be social. I’m worried about the cancer spreading, how aggressive it is this time, if Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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