Platelets are not coming up as high as expected. I went from a 3 to a 15. Then today stayed at 15 as overnight my stats dropped considerably. I’m trying to get out of my own head. trying not to freak myself out. Because that’s what I do best. I’m trying hard not to google Continue reading

The needle hasn’t moved in the right direction. An hour after platelet transfusion yesterday my result showed zero improvement. I was still sitting at 6. This morning I got retested and the results showed 3. That’s not good. Anything below 50 is considered critical let alone 3. The most comment side effects besides internal bleeding Continue reading

I screwed up today…like major miscalculations…the true essence of poor life choices. The 4 different chemotherapies, antibiotics, antifungals is the perfect store for constipation. So I thought I would help support the cause with a little prune juice. I had two. You know, you can’t clench liquid, and when the prune juice hits – it Continue reading

It begins again, transfusion after transfusion. I hope whoever this blood belongs I can get better. I find the notion of taking someone’s blood as odd, and granted it is a very important role in my survival. Nurse shift change, I’m tired again. I had to pee at 4:30am and couldn’t fall back asleep until Continue reading

Ultimately that is the hope, that today is my final chemo round and that this will have successfully killed the cancer left in my bones. I’m tired, I realized that this fight is more holding on than anything but I’m tired of the chemo. I’m tired of feeling awful all the time. My eyesight isn’t Continue reading

I haven’t been right the last few days – this chemo is rough. More days I am laying in a coma like state. It’s an awful feeling. I got Nurse S today and yesterday. I take back my prejudice, he was wonderful. Attentive, on schedule, professional. I didn’t have to call him, he knew what Continue reading

Last night wasn’t the easiest of sleep, beyond peeing every 10 minutes which is never fun as I have to unplug Dave and roll his butt to the bathroom and then plug him back in. My coordination at that hour isn’t exactly gazelle like. My picc site is also starting to get itchy – here Continue reading

My nausea was on another level yesterday which made finding gratitude extremely hard. Finding anything except suck is really hard. J left at 11:00am again to get to the kids and have some sort of normalcy at home. The blinds finally got fixed, so I no longer have to be in the bright bright room…it’s Continue reading

The struggle is real…oof. I was so proud that my sugars were good and that I ate well. But then after the second chemo, I threw up my lunch. While colitis I was pretty awful, throwing up is a close second on the yuck scale. I was really reluctant to have Nurse T change my Continue reading

I was too exhausted last night to reflect on the days events. Vitals were done at 11:00pm, morphine administered at 12:00am along with labs. Then I was left alone. I put my ear plugs in around 12:30am and passed out until they woke me at 5:00am for vitals and again at 8:00am. How do people Continue reading