Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Struggle

The struggle is real…oof. I was so proud that my sugars were good and that I ate well. But then after the second chemo, I threw up my lunch. While colitis I was pretty awful, throwing up is a close second on the yuck scale. I was really reluctant to have Nurse T change my dressing, I even asked him if we need to do it…that maybe I could shower around 6:30pm and then you know, he didn’t have to. But it seems he’s gotten in trouble before for leaving the work to the night shift. God bless the night shift nurses, there are no f*cking heros like them.

I find it harder and harder to keep up with my thoughts today. Brain fog, chemo fog…whatever you want to call it. Today is a day of feeling like absolute garbage. Old friend Cytarabine …I have not missed you and I do not enjoy this with you. You make me feel like total garbage. I hate you.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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