Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

After years of studying French – this is how I am able to apply it. Applause. My friend G is in Montreal so I greeted her in French and it carried over to the blog.

Last night was a painful sleep not only did S fall asleep next to me last night, she had the remote curled up in her blankets and was turning on the Roku and subsequently turning on the TV. Zomg. I couldn’t figure out where the remote was and didn’t want to wake her. But it was driving me bananas. I woke up the third time and unplugged the TV. Good grief!

I had a video date today with M and A. It was so lovely to see their beautiful home and children. They are not babies anymore full of life and joy! Absolutely beautiful children! Their home looks straight out of a Hans Christian Andersen Tale. I imagine A going to her yard spinning and singing “The hills are alive…with the sound of music” while the birds chirp “Aaaa aaa aaa a”. It is the picture of serenity. Then I think about the mosquitoes and bugs…and maybe I’ll save the hill singing to someone else. After our video chat today I walked one whole mile. I googled the distance yesterday while doing the home logistics. 0.5m there and 0.5m back. It was starting to warm up as I turned onto my street headed home.

Today was final day of chemo for this round. And lonnnnggg as hell. I got there at 2:30pm and didn’t even get premeds until 3:45pm which was annoying. Even if I got there earlier my appointment was still at 3:00pm. I still didn’t finish until 4:30pm and only because I skipped the anti nausea medication. I still have a life to live. She had a patient that was more needy so I was left to wait. Ummm…that sucks for me. I’ve always believed that being on time is important. That’s literally the thing you can’t get back. So when my time or someone’s time that I am depending on is wasted – it bothers me tremendously. I’m not talking about a party. I’m talking about someone taking me to my appointment and still needs to pick up her child in between – I need to be on time. If my time is wasted then it just sucks for me. But when it involves others people – I can contain my anger. Can I still have anger? Am I allowed to be pissed? I don’t know. But she profoundly irritated me because D’s kid was needing her at 5:00pm.

Kids went to a birthday party so it was just the dog and I home this afternoon after chemo. It’s nice to get the needs out of me. But my skin is all raw. My ANC is 0.4 now so I won’t have the ability to heal as well. All this from a simple IV. Though Nurse J was right – it was going to be good for chemo for the 4 days!