Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

  • ER

    The roads we take try do ebb and flow. I’m back in the ER. My hemoglobin dropped to 5.4 which is making me extremely tachycardic which feels like my heart is leaping out of my chest. I sent J to work since nothing in the ER is quick. I hate the SpO2 finger monitor cause Continue reading

  • MRD

    I may have spoke too soon. MRD is the Minimum Residual Disease Test. An MRD negative result means that no disease was detected after treatment. Doctors use MRD to measure the effectiveness of treatment and to predict which patients are at risk of relapse. It can also help doctors confirm and monitor remissions, and possibly Continue reading

  • Time

    I received a text early this morning 5:30am that when I woke up to please give a call. The text said that it wasn’t good news. I called when I got up. The words “My father died last night.” I’m in shock. He was over the house last night, I said. “Yes, he was.” How? Continue reading

  • Sleepless

    It’s 2:00am; I can’t sleep. I am trying to work through my rage and I can’t. My son would tell me that I am giving this person free rent in my head. He is wise beyond his years and he’s right. All I can think of is that we were done but we keep getting Continue reading

  • It’s Fine

    The mantra this morning is “It’s Fine!” – but I’m low key freaking out. CA EDD denied my claim because Dr C transitioned me to Dr G but Dr G couldn’t amend the claim because it was Dr C that did it – Dr C wrote that I was no longer under his care…and now Continue reading

  • The Milestone

    Tomorrow 6am is the first milestone biopsy. My FIL was supposed to take me, but then suddenly today I started to get anxious. I feel good in my heart, but my mind is delicate…sometimes it can go into places that it has no business going. I made it up the stairs on my own today, Continue reading

  • Little Chef

    Texting J to cook meals / food for me has proven difficult. He either doesn’t look at his phone or he doesn’t have the motivation to do it. Either way, it’s fine. I’m not upset about it – not his strength. My daughter however has become quite the little chef. She was the one who Continue reading

  • Positivitiy

    I haven’t left the room today, J hooked me up to the IV before he left for the farmers’ market. I slept some more when they all left and stayed in bed for the remainder of the day. Mix is visiting me on Friday which I’m elated! Not only do I have one 27 year Continue reading

  • Black Friday

    Our traditional day of decorating for Christmas typically started today. Gobble gobble – let’s get on with it! Today would normally be our tree hunting day where we go to the Christmas Tree Farm and hunt for our perfect tree. Though last year we Costco tree’d it. The Douglas Firs are just not here. Pre-cut Continue reading

  • Thanksgiving

    There is so much to be grateful for. I woke up at 5:00am today and got myself to the bathroom. J and S were deep in slumber, the house filled with quiet snores. It was dark but as my adjusted I could see everyone sleeping peacefully. I m grateful I woke up this morning. I Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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