Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

  • Style

    There is a huge difference between nurses that I have come to observe this year especially in the in-hospital setting. The major one I observed this time was just drawing blood. E draws a throw away syringe, a test syringe for good blood and then individually pushes them into the test tubes. T inserts the Continue reading

  • Lung Wash

    L woke me up for vitals at 5:30am and then started to shuffle things into my room. I groaned “We didn’t agree to this. I need to sleep.” He said he has to set up and was sorry. 7:00am They take me to OR. The bronchoscopy wasn’t happening bedside. It would be done in the Continue reading

  • There and Back

    I’m back to where it all started. Same beautiful ocean view, different floor and room, but I’m back where it began. I was ready to give Dr P a piece of my mind today. No, sir we are getting hydration at home and we are going to just do every two week appointments because this Continue reading

  • Circle

    A year ago during President’s Day Weekend, the family and I were at this exact camp ground, different sites but also sick. At the time I thought it was the flu or bronchitis – surprise, surprise it was cancer. This time it’s pneumonia. As I use the humidifier I had J hunt two stores for. Continue reading

  • Cautious

    Apparently J and I don’t know how to read or interpret the biopsy results. 0.5% represented normal blasts that everyone has. I questioned Dr P – does this happen? Like you said DLI doesn’t work like that. He said it can. Being off of the anti rejection medication for the study may have allowed the Continue reading

  • Unanswered Questions

    I sent Ia an email to ask about whether we would be starting this Wed (tomorrow). Ia wrote back with I have slight confusion because the biopsy says 0.5% and now you’re saying that I’m MRD negative. Lord have mercy. The plethora of information is so incredibly helpful. It sure guides us. Tomorrow is a Continue reading

  • I Can

    Normally I share news pretty quickly with friends and family about updates, but today I didn’t. I shared with J, he knew before I did and I texted my mother…that was it. It’s odd because I normally don’t share much with her. I share what I deem necessary. My mother is my cactus, if I Continue reading

  • Reality

    The reality is cancer is a very lonely illness. I mean every illness is, no one else can go through it for you. But it’s a LONG illness. It’s not one that you bounce back from in a week or two. It’s the same text messages being exchanged. “Hey! How are you doing?” “Hanging in Continue reading

  • W.T.F.

    The coughing has been incessant, I needed help. I could have made an appointment with the Primary but would have been afraid to take anything without Dr. G / Dr. P knowing and clearing it. So I booked an appointment with Dr. G today. Told him what was going on, told him I’m coughing to Continue reading

  • 100 Days

    Today is 100 days since transplant. It was a day when I started out of transplant as SUCH a monumental day because it was 100 days. I would feel better. I would this and I would that. I soon realized that it really was just a marker….some medications could be done at 100 days like Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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