Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

  • The start…

    My mom flew in last night – 3 connecting flights and a missed flight in ATL. She ended up landing in ONT at 11:30pm. To say I understand her heartache would be a lie. I can empathize but I can’t understand because my children are healthy, perfectly wonderfully healthy and I’m so so grateful for Continue reading

  • The night before…

    The night before is awful. Last night I didn’t sleep well. Too many thoughts in my mind. My kids. My life. My choices. Just a lot. This is where the suck happens. This is when the fear creeps. Is this my last kiss? Are these my last hugs? Is this my final final? Over the Continue reading

  • Luck

    The first step is going through induction (chemotherapy). This is where I need to mentally be strong to get into remission. But because of my genetic markers – this cancer would come back if I don’t get a bone marrow transplant. Asian Female … it’s luck. It’s all luck. My culture doesn’t typically get swabbed Continue reading

  • Home

    I immediately ask J to drive me to school so I can pick them up. It’s early our day anyway. S is mad I picked her up early, she was at the end of her writing assignment. L has a big old smile cause let’s face it he hates school. We head home! We are Continue reading

  • Horses not Zebras

    Monday March 20 2023….I’ve heard of “Horses not Zebras” – but I don’t think it was ever actually used in conversation with me. I understood but don’t think I “understood” Blood blood and more blood. A new doctor came in with a badge that was from a department I didn’t want anything to do with…”oncology”… Continue reading

  • How did this start?

    The crazy start to the Leukemia… March 9th 2023 I felt I had a piece of food stuck between my left bottom molar and gum. I tried for two days to get whatever was there out, as in a flossed the living sh*t out of it but no bit of food came out. I wasn’t Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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