Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

  • Another bump day

    After my 5:00am blood draw and vitals I was able to take a little nap and slept in until 7:30am right at shift change. Nurse Iz wouldn’t be back until Monday. I have Nurse J today. She’s not as warm as Nurse C or Iz or R – but I found out last night that Continue reading

  • 10 Days

    My relationship with my mother has never been as easy one. Long before the book “Battle Hymns of a Tiger Mother” was written Amy Tan wrote the “Joy Luck Club” and described the ‘two kinds’ of daughters: those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind. It’s easy to guess I was the one Continue reading

  • Kevin FKA Frank !

    At 4:52am Frank decided to alert again Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Are you kidding me? It’s 4:45am. What the hell are you beeping about now? There’s a kink in the hose “Beep! Beep! “Stopped” Beep Beep. OMFG. I’m going to end you stupid machine!!! Okay okay… I’ll press the help button already. Hello Nurses’ station? Continue reading

  • Frank

    It’s 1:51am … why am I awake? FRANK!!!!!! I got my allotted sedatives at 9:30pm at night. Like those movies as hospitals they put your pills in a cup, and then that the hatch, open your mouth and stick your tongue out. I was right in step tonight, no more water after 6:00pm (yes I Continue reading

  • Slight Mishap

    They got the order for my cytarabine and orubicin got messed up today. The cytarabine is supposed to be a 24 hour drip and what was given by the hospital pharmacy was a piggy back 4 hour drip. Nurse J caught it (she’s my new day nurse today). Then the orubicin didn’t work with the Continue reading

  • Calendar Notifications

    Alaska Airlines just pinged me, “Time to check into your Flight!” Thanks Alaska for rubbing salt in the wound. Tomorrow was supposed to be the big Spring Break Trip to NY with the kids. I cashed in all my mileage and we were going to fly in style. I had a whole itinerary mapped out. Continue reading

  • Drip. Drip. Drip.

    Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip by drip this poison is going into by body. Initially I imagines it like gel bleach coating the bathtub eating away at dirt and grime. I feel like my imagination is off. But then I think of this entering my blood like an navy seal team unit destroying everything – it’s Continue reading

  • Gloomy Start

    It’s a gloomy day today, the rain and the clouds are coming down steadily. I like it actually. It’s like a washing away. Mother Nature is purifying the ground; washing away the dirt, pollen, debris – it washes away the mistakes, regrets, pain and sorrow. And there is a lot of that to wash away. Continue reading

  • Ants

    I’m watching the people drive home from work now. It is like little ants, running up and down the ant hill. Everyone is hustling. Going about their day to day. My two favorite nurses just popped in: Nurse R and Nurse C. Such a wonderful, kind gracious people; my cup truly is full. It’s a Continue reading

  • Laps

    21 laps equal a mile. I went 6 before the picc line (Peripherally inserted central catheter) was put in. That’s where the chemotherapy goes. It sounds so simple; it’s where the chemo goes. It’s where the medication takes me to an inch of my life and then allows me to crawl back to life. This Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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