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Dry Hands
My hands are hurting and peeling. I tried putting my hands in coconut oil and a glove but it didn’t seem like it did much. Nothing much seems to help with the peeling. Feels like my hands are hot and burning, 2nd day of chemo was similar to yesterday. Tired and nauseous. Chemo was BRIGHT Continue reading
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New Kevin
Warm blanket. Pills. Hooked up to IV and New Kevin. I don’t feel strong still. Mindset is all over the place. . I talked to J last night. He asked me why I didn’t feel confident going into Round 2. He asked if it was the pain. I didn’t have a good answer. I just Continue reading
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Freedom
J took me to see a 10am showing of John Wick 4 – there were only a few people in the theatre and I wore my mask the whole time. You’d think cancer would make me a lovey, dovey, warm and fuzzy…nope, love John Wick 4 as well as the immense violence. It was great. Continue reading
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Garden hose
J and I got to chatting earlier this morning about how we grew up, thinking about our childhoods. I saw this meme on IG that made me chuckle. It was about house rules growing up – getting all the chores done without any back talk. The reward was not getting your as* beat LMAO. Parenting Continue reading
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Why
8:30am Last night J and I were talking before bed and he asked me who I write to in the blog. Who do I talk to? I didn’t know how to answer that. Who is my actual audience? Beyond therapy why do I write? Sometimes I write as I’m talking to S, sometimes it’s L Continue reading
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The Water Schedule
I was super productive today, waited and signed for my chemo medication. I ate some sliced apples and napped. A true hero! I also stash away Amazon returns in a bag, called the pharmacy to check on my medication and called the oncologist to let them know I had my chemo meds. I’m very proud Continue reading
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Transplant
To the ladies who have done S’s hair…thank you as now my inadequacies are that much more highlighted. 😂 Though these morning views are pretty amazing. Better than any ocean. It’s crooked and it looks a little weird but she likes it. Thank god she can’t see the back of her head. Above is a Continue reading
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Energy?
Where did all the energy go? That’s the new view curled up on the recliner with a quilt and my baby’s baby blanket…and sock shoes. It’s not the ocean view as before but having the kiddos meander around the kitchen in the morning is a way better. Watch them eat breakfast and like a tornado Continue reading
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Just another manic Monday
It was a quiet Sunday. Kids played at the park. J took them to pool. They were kids… I napped most of Sunday. My energy level is definitely not where I want it to be. Still shedding like a dog. Cause the hair can’t just go…we gotta draw this out. Legs and back still hurt…seems Continue reading
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A Birthday
I didn’t think I’d have the opportunity to be apart of S’s birthday let along celebrate a portion with her. That was an amazing blessing. Grandpa and I got to the park at 6am while it was nice and cool out to stake our claim. Grandpa thought we were cray to stake it at 6am. Continue reading
About Me
Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.
I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.
I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.
I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).
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