Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

I woke up and was asked by the nurse how I was feeling. I responded broken. Defeated. Poked. Prodded. Jabbed. Stabbed. Nurse D couldn’t wait to stabbed me with a third IV line. I had fired her as a nurse; she wouldn’t forget this trespass. You could see her evil excitement, “I’ve been a nurse for 10 years. I’m very excperiencenced.”Okay but you are also very scary. “Are you scared of me?” No, of course not….you’re wonderful, you’re so beautiful. F*ck yes I’m terrified of you.

She got her pound of flesh in and stabbed the hand. “See, that was a beautiful vein.” Yes evil queen…Now I could be so much more if I just follow what you say.

Immediately after M she needs the code a rapid response from talking to her gone. Didn’t freak her out not bit she said and she her legs on the wall looking splat.

DR TW added in that a lot of people doesn’t come back from that. Is this overshare? Or is this just the wow factor. I just call him “c*nt.” I have a new rounding doctor and in one conversation said Dr Pullarkat’s thrice. I’m so grateful.

My Voice

I no longer can longer drink without choking. I no longer sound like me. My jokes and wit aren’t there anymore. Because you can’t hear me anymore. I whisper scream. It’s sad. In one weekend I have become witty and chatty and poof it all went to nothing at all.

My Mobility

I am now completely bed ridden. Then her turn around and was nothing short of asking me for tit of milk once I have time. Miss Ma’am before bed what was our waking time. 6:00am.

The promise on the profile was 12:00am until 6:00am

I asked her what time we would start blood products – she said 6:00am. Show up at 5:45am – let’s roll. Let’s get it. Show at 3:45am??? You never been invited nowhere? You got ice for the whole week or just? for this one party?

Where was our trust? I told her to do whatever she wanted to do. I was going to sleep. She said she was worried about a brain bleed. Sleeping less than 3 hours a sleep a whole day will kill me faster.

My Mobility

I am was furious to woken before but now I jumped to see them.

I was an able to interpret my invisible war.

129/78 shows that my shield has not dropped. I am stabled. My blood pressure is holding. 91 in my heart is beating, ( have I moved today did I drink enough today). 100% is my pulse oxygen ( have I been breathing big strong breaths. Meditating, box breathing, keeping myself active and not just sleeping like a hermit. 36.6 is my temp, (Have I been eating correctly did I eat correctly? Do I have some basic miracle broth that I can warm up in a 1QT Crockpot – if I didn’t support my war or my fight.

How do you war that you can’t see?