Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

July 2024

  • Battlefield

    I’ve needed a few days to get my head on straight. A stayed with me until Sat afternoon and then I needed her to go. I needed her to recharge for the battlefield. All of us truly are on our own battlefield. Whether we are sick or healthy – we are affected by the battles Continue reading

  • Two Steps Forward One Step Back

    I got the approval last night that I was accepted into the trial study at around 8:30pm. I was so grateful and really looking forward to the next steps. But then this morning I had a fever and I wasn’t allowed to proceed with the study trial. I was very disappointed and devastated that I Continue reading

  • Benny

    It’s been a rough few days. I’ve been in the hospital since 6/24/2024. Last few days I’ve had back to back issues with my counts and I am struggling with positivity. Overthink – you go dark. Obvious – you can screw up your care. The cancer has come back 76%. The leukemia is aggressive. What’s Continue reading

  • Struggle Is Real

    I made my complaint to the patient advocate and I left it there. I’m not going to let one person who bullied, humiliated and guilted me to reside in while I get well. I’m also not making excuses for her behavior – she was cruel. That is what it is. Currently it’s a waiting game Continue reading

  • Fri-yay

    It started way earlier than I wanted. Isn’t that always how it goes? My platelets were at a 3 so they needed to start me on it ASAP, The nurse pushed 50mg of Benny, and I drifted. Then I feel someone’s hand holding my hand. Two hands holding tightly to my hand. I was still Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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