Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

I start this morning off with the evil chuckle. Look I don’t claim to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m also not going to hold back if it’s funny.

Yes the doggo is cute and ugly all wrapped up in one. But when you post photos consistently of your daughter on social media. Help a girl out. Comb her hair. Get her hair out of her face. Maybe tell her to keep her mouth closed a little if she has those awkward smiles. But every photo of this little girl was rough, and that’s being very kind. Ladies…help your babies out. The internet is forever…if you going to put them on the World Wide Web, help them and take a flattering photo.

S landed earlier than I expected on Wednesday. I calculated EST vs PST, so she arrived at 2:10pm which was fine since I was already home from Dr. P. J and S went to the airport to pick her up and within no time she was here and I was getting a big masked hug. ‘I love you.” she said…I began to cry. “I love you too. This is not goodbye.” Lately that’s been my paranoia that all my friends from 30 years ago are coming to visit as a final goodbye to me and I’m uneasy. I know it’s not that, but there fear is there.

S and I ran some errands and I went to infusions. She was lovely enough to make lasagna, chicken noodle soup as well as chicken enchiladas. My friend of almost 30 years flew across the country to cook and empty the dishwasher for me. I am incredibly blessed.

Thursday S dropped off the children at camp and we headed off to breakfast. Why? Because buttermilk blueberry pancakes with a blueberry compote is just happiness in the tummy. She drove home through the scenic route and I could see even she was happy. By the time I got home I was gassed. I had nothing left in the tank to go grocery shopping or even order online. My tank was empty so I slept. Thursday night we had her wonderful lasagna with garlic bread and salad. SO so yum. Friday was supposed to be a day of quick errands and maybe go to the ocean. Unfortunately it was neither…I had a 9:00am Type and Cross, I thought this was going to be a quick in and out. HAHAHA Pivot! I needed 2 bags of blood and 2 bags of Platelets. I wasn’t going anywhere. S sat with me for most of the infusion, she only ran home so that she could start on the chicken noodle soup, by 5:30pm I was released. It was a long day. See you Monday ladies…..

After hugging S goodbye at 5:15am I went back to lay down and spent the remainder of the day just laying around. No chores done. No cooking. Nothing. My little one decided she wanted to bake macaroons. Sigh. I genuinely don’t have the energy for this. She baked…and baked…and they came out okay. The feet were tiny but there were feet none the less. Bravo little one! Bravo. Sunday, I had a morning movie date with D to see “I am Celine” – because I too operate at an 11, I picked the very top back row two middle seats. I climb f*cking Mount Everest! Our favorite quotes were “I wear the shoe, the shoe doesn’t wear me!” and “I have been over all the world, but I have seen nothing.” That one hurt me. I have been all over the world, I have traveled in my industry for over 20 years…yet ask me if I got to SEE Singapore? Japan? Saudi Arabia? Egypt? Montreal? Vietnam? Hong Kong? Nope, nope all nope. I scarified my time with my children and saw nothing. Sad.

PIVOT TIME!
I spent Sunday night with a fever between 103.9 – 104.1 so yea…I wasn’t going to going anywhere, I had the chills and couldn’t break the fever. Did I have Tylenol at home? Absolutely…Children’s Tylenol. You’d think I’d have actual adult medication. Nope. Now I have to google the conversion of Children’s Tylenol into Adult. 20ml of Cherry flavored Children’s Tylenol. It seemed like I broke the fever around 5:30am Monday, hahaha. Silly me and my wishful thinking. 8:30am, I was back at 103.5 So what’s the big deal. the big deal is that I was able to get a biopsy appointment on Tuesday but no one is going to drill into my hip bone at 103.5 fever. I didn’t want to loose my chance at the biopsy or the study drug. Another hour, 103.9 and another shower…I passed out after my shower and J walks in and says I think we need to go to the ER. Motherf*cker! We have been down this road before so frequently that i have a to go bag. I have an ER bag, Infusion/chemo/transfusion bag and an outside bag. ER bag will always have my dressing change materials, not every hospital or floor knows how to change my picc dressing. Some nurses look like deer in headlights. But over a year and a half…I have observed, asked questions and I am now an expert with my own body and my picc line and how it needs to be changed. I leave nothing to chance. So my ER bag has the materials that I need and are unique to my care. Charging brick, charging cables: micro, lightening and USBC. Ear plugs, lip balm and coconut oil. As well as things I’m not suppose to pack like my pain meds and sleeping pills. Sorry friends, I’m not going to suffer while you figure out that I need 15mg of oxy to help the burning pain in my pelvis. I’m not going to forgo an already restless night of sleep because, you don’t see 30mg of Restoril in my profile. While you figure that sh*t out, I’m going to be painless and sleep. My very first stay at a hospital I brought everything and the kitchen sink. I brough a WHOLE A$S air purifier. I felt that was extra as well, but I didn’t know better. I brought my own blankets and my own sheets. That’s a lot. Yes it is great to have those creature comforts absolutely but this isn’t the Holiday Inn and we CERTAINLY are not at the 4 Seasons. As long as I’m not in pain and I can sleep…the rest is nonsense.