It’s supposed to be fun. I’m struggling. It’s 4:00am and I’m looking up pain associated with AML and then it brings me end care for AML. Life expectancies after bone marrow transplant. My whole body hurts which could be cause by the cancer (too many blasts in my bone marrow – overcrowding) or effects of treatment. My feed has been full of death. This person, that person all dying from one reason to another. Pet death and the rainbow bridge. J and the children are sleeping and I am having a mild panic attack.
I don’t know if it’s this campground since this was the campground I was at where I as incredibly sick but didn’t get diagnosed with cancer at the time. I have returned here a few other times, and I always comment that it was here that I got really sick.
Last night I was painfully cold. A bitter cold where it felt like needles piercing my skin. I had six blankets on me but couldn’t get warm. I spent all day in bed while everyone went fishing. I got up for some food and turned off my phone as I was tired of hearing my glucose monitor freak out that I was “low blood sugar”. I was just tired. Trying to start off Sunday morning with more pep. Fingers crossed.
Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom 
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