Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

My whole body is itchy. Oof I’m on fire and with the new nails I have to be that much more careful. But I’m grateful for this itchy. I’m grateful for this GVHD because there are people who don’t get to have to opportunity to have GVHD because they couldn’t get a transplant. First I got Idiopathic pneumonia syndrome (IPS) – pneumonitis. It presented just like pneumonia but it wasn’t it was GVHD. Now Acute liver GVHD can appear as jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes) from liver damage and inability to excrete a substance called bilirubin (bilirubin is produced when the liver breaks down old red blood cells). I’m literally yellow and purple with GVHD of the skin can cause color changes (red, pink, purple, brown or white), thinning or thickening, hardening, rashes, scaly areas, bumps. But I am lucky to have these symptoms because I was lucky enough to get a 10/10 transplant.

Yes I am itchy as all hell right now and I’m not going to lie, the nails I have now give me a really really good scratch and yes I indulge trying my hardest not to break skin. Trying my best to get a good scratch as well. Tonight the legs are on fire, arms and back are okay-ish. Benadryl pills do NOTHING, Benadryl cream….I feel does even less. I have to sleep. Passed out is the best remedy. There’s no itching when you’re out like a light. That’s where I need to be.

The last few nights of sleep at the hospital have been absolutely horrid. I need to take a pill and pass out! Grateful to be home.