Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Circles

My life has always been circle, call me Frodo. I was moved from Friend E was kind enough to call her friend for me. She came to visit last night, I was on my 18th attempt at nap and she came in and asked me how I was feeling then asked me how I felt at 7W. She’s E friend – I was honest I was anxious. I don’t have complicated chemo to or difficult antibiotics but I needed a nurse who I can trust with my picc.

Here starts the irony; I am relocated to 8W 34. I didn’t end up staying in this room because Nurse C got me into 17 later in the day. But this very room is where I was supposed to start the journey. There a bit of emotions when I got wheeled in here late last night. All settled in. Ready for bed! Paul (the pole) was quiet and being super good.

Paul

Apparently I was on fire and had to put the fire out but I was connected to Paul and had to get Paul and jump in the shower. But then I was wet and cold and had to get my night gown off. I’m now on bed alarm. I’m not restrained but if I get out of bed without someone switching it off it will sound. I’m bed bound.

New View

I’m not terribly irritated that I can’t get out of bed but it would be nice to be able to pee or walk around if i felt like I had the energy. Instead I have the charge nurse from hell last year that said I couldn’t order a second mattress foam. But yea you can’t make this sh*t up. I’m grateful to be on a floor where everyone is familiar with oncology not sure what happened with my sleep walking but there you have it. I guess I’m in their looney category.

If it weren’t for the fact that I have to pee and needing to press a button. That sucks.

Dr V said all the infectious diseases they tested all of it came back negative. Super unhelpful…so you don’t know why I’m sick? No one knows. I chugged a liter of water today because I was insanely thirsty. I couldn’t figure out why, now I’m peeing every 20 minutes.

Dr V (infectious disease) said it’s looking like it’s not fungal either…they are going to send me down for another CT later today.

Dr S discontinued hydration but I have no idea why. I have more unanswered questions.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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