Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…


February 2024

  • The Long Awaited Thank You

    I needed a separate post about this. I couldn’t mix this with the mundane day to day of the hospitals updates. This needed its own. Dr. C He walked in with Dr. V and my eyes just were so surprised that I was seeing him. Dr. C was standing there. I filled up with emotion Continue reading

  • What is this?

    I’m currently waiting for the oncologist Dr G to make the final decision. The conclusion is they don’t really know what this is. All but 1 of the test have yielded a negative result. It’s not bacterial, viral, or fungal….All the test but 1 say it’s negative. The last test is for cancer, the pathology Continue reading

  • Circles

    My life has always been circle, call me Frodo. I was moved from Friend E was kind enough to call her friend for me. She came to visit last night, I was on my 18th attempt at nap and she came in and asked me how I was feeling then asked me how I felt Continue reading

  • Experience

    Since Wednesday I have been hacking up a lung and coughing up mucus into tissues then today I ran out of tissues and the Respiratory Tech says why don’t you use the suction stick instead of tissues. I swear my face…I couldn’t control it. Seriously, none of you people could a told me? No one Continue reading

  • Style

    There is a huge difference between nurses that I have come to observe this year especially in the in-hospital setting. The major one I observed this time was just drawing blood. E draws a throw away syringe, a test syringe for good blood and then individually pushes them into the test tubes. T inserts the Continue reading

  • Lung Wash

    L woke me up for vitals at 5:30am and then started to shuffle things into my room. I groaned “We didn’t agree to this. I need to sleep.” He said he has to set up and was sorry. 7:00am They take me to OR. The bronchoscopy wasn’t happening bedside. It would be done in the Continue reading

  • There and Back

    I’m back to where it all started. Same beautiful ocean view, different floor and room, but I’m back where it began. I was ready to give Dr P a piece of my mind today. No, sir we are getting hydration at home and we are going to just do every two week appointments because this Continue reading

  • Circle

    A year ago during President’s Day Weekend, the family and I were at this exact camp ground, different sites but also sick. At the time I thought it was the flu or bronchitis – surprise, surprise it was cancer. This time it’s pneumonia. As I use the humidifier I had J hunt two stores for. Continue reading

  • Cautious

    Apparently J and I don’t know how to read or interpret the biopsy results. 0.5% represented normal blasts that everyone has. I questioned Dr P – does this happen? Like you said DLI doesn’t work like that. He said it can. Being off of the anti rejection medication for the study may have allowed the Continue reading

  • Unanswered Questions

    I sent Ia an email to ask about whether we would be starting this Wed (tomorrow). Ia wrote back with I have slight confusion because the biopsy says 0.5% and now you’re saying that I’m MRD negative. Lord have mercy. The plethora of information is so incredibly helpful. It sure guides us. Tomorrow is a Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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