Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

ER

The roads we take try do ebb and flow. I’m back in the ER. My hemoglobin dropped to 5.4 which is making me extremely tachycardic which feels like my heart is leaping out of my chest. I sent J to work since nothing in the ER is quick. I hate the SpO2 finger monitor cause my finger goes numb. In the grand scheme of it; it’s not that bad but yea not exactly a fun time.

I was given two units of blood because my heart rate was through the roof and I was having a really hard time with just walking. Right now my heart rate is below 100. First time in over a week. Ebb and flow. I just need to remember that. I absolutely hate going to COH. Beyond the fact that it is so far away; I just hate that place. I don’t know what my trauma is. But I qhate it. I hate driving there. I hate the buildings. I hate it all. But the infusion center I don’t mind; even going to the ER today I didn’t mind it. I hate having to go weekly to these appointments and hate that it’s even a weekly thing. I just have a block when it comes to COH. I absolutely adored so many nurses at COH but just want nothing to do with being there. I don’t know what my trauma is with it.

LTD accepted my rejection notification from CA EDD so I am at least getting the correct LTD from 11/1 onwards. BUT…as for my Oct STD it’s up in the air still.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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