Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

We went to see Taylor Swift movie. The first song was The Man…and it brought me to tears. Not because I’m just such a Swifty fan that I would burst into tears but because “The Man” was literally my career anthem. Had I been a man, my hustle would have meant something. Instead, it got me…what? Cancer. Of all of her songs, “The Man” hit a special place in my heart. I had an opportunity to go see her Reputation Tour however at the time I had a setback at work. My manager had been pushed out of the company which resulted in me shifting to a new department and that manager demoted me and while she left my pay as is – I was on unsteady footing. I was scared to execute on the $300 to see the concert. Terrible decision on my part and I have regretted ever since. I should have gone, but I was a coward. Hindsight in 20/20. I should have gone and enjoyed the experience and created the memory.

When the Eras Tour came out I was so determined to go. But unfortunately I had a little leukemia that kept me from going to the concert. I was excited to see the movie. I could see just how worth it the concert was. She is an incredible performer. I hope to see her next concert with S.

I missed Pavaratti when I was in Italy, I was on a business trip but I was too nervous about money to spend an extra 150 euro on hotel to stay an additional night and hear his opera. I flew back to the US with the missed opportunity saying to myself “next time” – it never came and he passed away.

L was still just a baby when J bought tickets for me to see Andrea Bocelli – it was so beautiful. I was so moved by his voice, and had the best time. I wanted to see Celine but she cancelled her shows due to her illness. Adele was impossible to see. Music has also been my Time Machine, it teleports me to a time in my memory where I can be right there in that feeling. I love that music can do that for me. I know traveling back isn’t always the healthiest of choices, but sometimes that travel isn’t regret.

It was a good night for the movie, there were only about 8 people in the theater besides us. Perfect safe distancing for me. I did have popcorn with an obscene amount of butter and an ICEE…I just said my A1C was 5.1 and now I’m drinking an ICEE so my A1C is surely 1500 now. Good grief. Kids are passed out quietly snoring. I’m writing and chatting with M about the dramas at the sports teams.

People have just lost their minds in all honesty. Some people are taking volunteer jobs WAY too seriously. Like…friends it’s a community team, not the Olympics…breathe, it’ll be okay. One guy set up a whole Slack just for the team to streamline…like bro 90% of the parents on the team don’t speak English. Get out of here with your stupid Slack. Someone made a racist comment, but the guy said he can’t be a racist because his wife is Cambodian. Bro, that’s not how it works. But sure…kept saying stupid things like that. Just hearing it from the outside…I am grateful not to be in this sh*tshow. I’m over here just fighting for my life. I can’t be apart of your nonsense.

I’m off to bed and hopefully get to sleep in with the children.