Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

Still fuming from the flag football coach that just left children at a sports complex alone after he ends practice early and can be bothered to use the group text that he set up. What nonsense.

I spoke with the Commissioner who spoke to the Volunteer Coach this afternoon about his behavior. How desperately I want to stir the pot and respond to the group chat with. “Glad the Commissioner was able to speak to you about your inappropriate and irresponsible behavior. Looking forward to that never happening again. As I stated, full transparency.” Oh do I want to post that in the group chat!!!! My fingers are itching to type that into the chat!!! I need a hobby cause stirring the pot isn’t a hobby. Making t-shirts is also not a hobby I feel I can sustain either. Make 3 yea, make 1,000 t-shirts? Hard pass.

After waiting anxiously for the bone marrow biopsy I got a call from L (Transplant Coordinator). I had a few extra questions to ask her and I told her that I was anxiously waiting for the results. I mentioned that the app still hasn’t posted the results. She told me that Dr P would like to discuss it with me in person. Wait what? You have the results?!?!?! She laughed and said yes but she couldn’t discuss with me. But if there were issues or concerns Dr P would have called me already. What. Wait…. Does this mean? She said “What I can tell you is that you should have your suitcase packed!” An hour after we hung up the phone. It posted.

Medical remission. I am eligible for transplant! I have a 10/10 donor that I can now activate. The transplant board will review the other tests I did on Friday and approve of the transplant. This. Is. Huge. Yea the narcissist turd left children alone at a sport complex but I have a clean biopsy which means I can deal with the turd another time.

S has been sleeping with me nightly. She’s anxious and scared. I’m scared as well. This next part is going to be really hard. This next part can give me a real chance of ending the cancer forever. It can give me a chance to have a long life and really focus on what is important. Leukemia is scary. AML is absolutely terrifying. The fact that it isn’t IF it’ll come back but when sometimes cripples me and I’m frozen in that fear. But a transplant increases the odds of being cancer free forever. I’m laying here with S on my shoulder and hearing her breathe. Tomorrow I’m going to set something up for L. I just want to have them near me and fill my heart before transplant. I hope the children can visit me and it’s not totally away from them. FaceTime is amazing but I want / need to breathe them in as well.