Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

Hello New Low… there is something about watching reality TV that almost makes you feel better about your own life. Like sure, we all have our own problems and we’re all struggling and doing our best to just survive, but reality TV gives you a new and wonderful perspective on your own life. Like yeah you might have a touch of cancer but you are doing much better than this drama you’re watching. Currently watching this season of Sister Wives. OMG. Haha, I’m not feeling too bad about my day to day mindlessness.

I couldn’t get through the first 10 minutes of Love Again, it was that bad for me.

We got a box of blueberries that is tart as heck. Like damn, your face may freeze in that pucker position tart. I had a small bit of energy in me and made a Blueberry Cobbler.

Its finally cooled down to a respectable temperature. I think it needs ice cream – it’s still pretty tart but bearable. It looks pretty in the baking dish but looks like purple turds in my bowl. I’m not an influencer for this reason. I don’t take pictures the way social media needs you to take pictures like there’s a lighting requirement that is just beyond my desired level of effort. I think if you bought yourself a box of tart fruit this isn’t a bad way to make use of them. I would say a bit of ice cream could make it a touch sweeter. I need to take a break between each bite and get back to zen after a tart bite.

This recipe was from Jennifer Garner’s Pretend Cooking Show. They used blackberries and I use blueberries. Maybe blackberries aren’t as tart but over all the recipe was easy and the steps were easy as well.

Anxiously waiting on the biopsy results…so I’m trying to keep my mind occupied. Thinking about chicken tacos as a possibility for dinner tomorrow.

Aetna has me on their mind today. Two case managers called me. I thought it was to resolve the $12,416.00 bill I received. According to the Aetna representative- my insurance plan doesn’t include private rooms only semi-private rooms . Umm ma’am I have cancer and I’m neutropenic. How does a semi-private room work? 1) The hospital doesn’t have semi-private rooms offered. 2) I’m neutropenic…how does that work if someone gets me sick with your semi-private room? 3) I’ve hit my out of pocket max…doesn’t that mean this is an insurance issue not a me issue? Cause according to Google: Healthcare.gov says: The most you have to pay for covered services in a plan year. After you spend this amount on deductibles, copayments, and coinsurance for in-network care and services, your health plan pays 100% of the costs of covered benefits.

Instead they called to check on my current status as well as letting me know that transplant has been approved by insurance. I had to ask…if that included a private room. I caught the case manager off guard because she wanted to laugh but held it together and said “I don’t believe you can have a semi-private room you’re neutropenic.” But gave me another 800# to call to double check. I don’t want to be hit with a $80K bill but then again; I’ll pay you $50 a month. As long as I’m alive – it’s just money.

I gotta keep my brain clear because I have to keep the logistics straight. But I didn’t think semi-private rooms were even a thing anymore. Healthcare is a mystery to me, I’m sure it’s a mystery to a lot of people until they are in it. I know for years I barely even looked at my medical benefit elections. I just picked whatever was cheapest and barely gave any consideration to it. Only until I had children did I actually start being mindful of what kind of coverage I needed the children to have.

I didn’t have the benefit of someone leading the way for me so all my lessons were stumbled on. I hope that I can pave an easier way for my children.