He already ate breakfast by the time I came downstairs at 6:30am. I wanted to make him an egg but I’ll do it this evening for dinner. It’s not fancy but it’s a tradition. He wants no gifts except for me to get better. There were instant tears when I read that last night.

I’m usually good at faking it. But today I am struggling because today is an important day and the mortality of it all makes it all that much more precious. I very much want to be done with cancer. Everyone who has cancer wants to be done with cancer. Everyone wants more time to be healthy. This is when Baba Yaga chats the most in my head. I can only control the things of my day to day actions. I control getting my labs done and my hydration and infusion. I can take my meds on time with food. Today I have to pick up some snacks for sports and make sure there is lemon cake with candles for my little man.


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