Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Birthday

He already ate breakfast by the time I came downstairs at 6:30am. I wanted to make him an egg but I’ll do it this evening for dinner. It’s not fancy but it’s a tradition. He wants no gifts except for me to get better. There were instant tears when I read that last night.

I’m usually good at faking it. But today I am struggling because today is an important day and the mortality of it all makes it all that much more precious. I very much want to be done with cancer. Everyone who has cancer wants to be done with cancer. Everyone wants more time to be healthy. This is when Baba Yaga chats the most in my head. I can only control the things of my day to day actions. I control getting my labs done and my hydration and infusion. I can take my meds on time with food. Today I have to pick up some snacks for sports and make sure there is lemon cake with candles for my little man.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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