Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Oof

I haven’t been right the last few days – this chemo is rough. More days I am laying in a coma like state. It’s an awful feeling. I got Nurse S today and yesterday. I take back my prejudice, he was wonderful. Attentive, on schedule, professional. I didn’t have to call him, he knew what time to come into change my chemo etc. An absolute rockstar of an RN.

Today is my last round of chemo…cytarabine at 3:00pm. After that I ride the tsunami and hold on for dear life. That’s what fighting cancer really is, just holding on for dear life. The Dr subbing for Dr P – said that Dr P was onboard for letting me go home for transfusions if my stats hold steady. I’m hopeful that they will hold steady. I don’t love being in the hospital and away from my children. Yea chemo sucks but having you children around makes it better, help me remember why I’m holding on for dear life.

New Picc line is coming in clutch – they put a hydrocolloid patch on me first then secured the line holder to that. It has made ALL the difference! I’m feeling nauseous again. Feel pretty awful. Might rest for a bit.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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