Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

July 2023

  • Day 0

    Day 0 is an interesting concept, it marks your transplant day. Monday was a day. It’s taken me a moment to process. Monday morning started with a call from the COH transplant coordinator. She called me at the end of June to say that there was a match potential that was a 10/10 donor match Continue reading

  • Sleeping Beauty

    Yesterday didn’t go exactly as I planned. We got up early for the swim meet and setup for the day with our chairs. Within a few hours the “palace” was roasting, It was hot as sin with no air movement and humid thickness that just made every shift feel gross. I had both of my Continue reading

  • Itch

    The itch was so intense last night that I had actually scratched through my dressing 10/10 would NOT recommend an itch spell. It’s so uncomfortable but theres nothing i can do about it because the rash is underneath the dressing. The nurses dressed the site with what’s called an IV3000 which is what the COH Continue reading

  • Packet

    I got some more transplant reading material. It’s a lot of information. I thumb through it because the reality is there’s a lot of damn info, and sometimes my brain can not process. I get stuck and can’t pass Go and collect $200 – I stay in jail. Talked to A today about being pet Continue reading

  • Keep it

    There is a spider “friend” who has taken residence in my bathroom ceiling…then disappeared and I couldn’t find them anymore. So, the bathroom is theirs lol. It took all my energy to fold laundry today. That’s all I had in me and truthfully I was happy to do just that. From a good day I Continue reading

  • Just feet

    Open Note: “Dear Husband, I sincerely appreciate you including your extra duties like the role of Tooth Fairy. However whisper screaming “BBBbbaaabbbbeeeee! Where do you want me to put the tooth?!” Doesn’t help me go back to sleep when I get up to pee. It freaks me out. I’m awake now at 4:30am…thanks. Love, Wife.” Continue reading

  • 2 more to go

    After chemo early yesterday J and I had a quick lunch together at a Mexican restaurant. I had to stop on the middle of eating as a wave of nausea hit me. I love to ruin lunches that we rarely have alone. Once we got home I changed into more comfortable clothing and laid in Continue reading

  • Caution

    COH sent over a general information sheet about transplant as well as a YouTube link about what to expect https://youtu.be/xvIdkfD2jgo – the cancer version of what to expect when you’re expecting. I have another bone marrow biopsy scheduled for July 26. Nurse T said that there was a Nurse (Nurse B) that was amazing at Continue reading

  • Useless

    7/5 Having a picc line in my dominant arm has been quite an ordeal. I struggled dressing myself this morning before my walk and struggled doing my glucose test with my left hand. I passed out last night out of sheer exhaustion versus peaceful slumber, as I found myself in capable of getting comfortable in Continue reading

  • Round 4

    My left lymph node started to swell last night shortly after we got home from the fireworks. I could feel it when I turned my neck. This makes me anxious. I haven’t felt my lymph nodes swell since I was diagnosed with leukemia. It has been a long morning. Unfortunately I was not allowed to Continue reading

About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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