Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

I underwent my second bone marrow biopsy yesterday and while it was less painful than the first outpatient one, it was still incredibly painful. The procedure involved drilling into my hip to extract a sample of bone marrow. As the medical team prepared me for the biopsy, I could feel my anxiety rising, knowing what awaited me. Everyone including my oncology team said B the PA was the best of the best.

Once the process began, a sharp, intense pain shot through my body as the drill shot through my hip bone. I just tried to breathe and not pee myself. I clenched my hands on J tightly in an attempt to cope with the discomfort. The sound of the drill added to my distress, making the entire experience feel surreal and overwhelming. Time seemed to stretch as the minutes ticked by, and all I could focus on was enduring the torment until the procedure was complete.

Despite the pain, I tried to remind myself of the importance of this biopsy. It was a necessary step in diagnosing and monitoring my cancer. The bone marrow contains vital information about my health, and this procedure would provide valuable insights for my treatment and potential transplant. But it still hurts like hell. I spent the remainder of the day laying on my right hip and not bump into the left side at all. Leave it to J to pat me on my left side. F*ck!!! I know it was an accident but this is how husbands get their throat sliced. I said what I said.

I finally expanded on a quote last week – “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This quote hits home for me. It’s often interpreted as “Blood is thicker than water” – blood family is stronger than chosen family. But when expanded – it’s the opposite. The blood of the covenant (your chosen family) is thick than the water of the womb (your biological family). I chose J as my family. I’ve chosen friends as family – and they mean and matter more to me. It’s strange and sad to feel this way – sometimes the biological families hurt you much more than you could ever expect.

I’m off to see my SIL this weekend; last time I saw them was in April at S’s birthday – it’s been too long. They guys are going to see banana baseball, the girls will relax and at home. K is getting her wisdom teeth out today so she will likely be resting. Tomorrow we have an adult only event – casino night for K’s cheer team. I’m excited to attend – I had wanted to but wasn’t sure the timing would work because of chemo / transplant. Now I get a chance to! We’re almost there.