Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

Today, I find myself reflecting on the topic of regrets. Regrets are the shadows of past choices, haunting the pockets of my mind where Baba Yaga thrives. They serve as reminders of opportunities missed, words left unsaid, and actions that could have been different. While it’s natural to experience regrets in life, for we are imperfect beings, and hindsight is always 20/20 – and well idle hands…I have a lot of time to reflect.

As I look back on my journey, I can’t help but acknowledge that regrets have been both teachers and tormentors. They have taught me valuable lessons about the importance of making thoughtful decisions and being mindful of the consequences. Some regrets have been painful, urging me to grow and evolve, while others have left me with a sense of longing for chances gone by.

Today has been a challenging day. From a mental standpoint. The weight of depression feels heavier than usual, enveloping me in a cloud of darkness. It’s like an uninvited guest, lingering around my mind and heart, making everything feel gloomy and distant. Baba Yaga at her best. B*tch. Things around me seems muted, colors less vibrant, and sounds fainter. The wait of the donor has me on pins and needles. They match but are they viable?

This persistent feeling of sadness and emptiness is exhausting. It’s like carrying an invisible burden, one that I cannot set down or escape from. Sometimes, it’s difficult to even put into words what I’m going through, as if my emotions are trapped inside me.

The worst part is the feeling of isolation. It’s like being in a crowded room but feeling utterly alone, unable to connect with others on a deeper level. I don’t want to burden anyone with my struggles, so I put on a brave face and pretend everything is okay, but deep down, I’m drowning.