Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

COH sent over a general information sheet about transplant as well as a YouTube link about what to expect https://youtu.be/xvIdkfD2jgo – the cancer version of what to expect when you’re expecting. I have another bone marrow biopsy scheduled for July 26. Nurse T said that there was a Nurse (Nurse B) that was amazing at bone marrow biopsies and is requested by name. Fingers crossed, will give it a whirl…it hurt like hell the last time. The general information includes the testing that will need to happen: CT Scans, Echo-cardiogram, urine analysis and 27 vials of blood for a myriad of tests (thank goodness for picc). I laughed at that part (inside laughing) – 27 vials seems very specific. Like why don’t we just round it to 30.

I watch a little bit of the video and shut it off when it became overwhelming. It’s a lot of information. I need to remember to focus on the step and not the mountain ahead of me. I am scared. I am scared of this pre-transplant chemo and afraid of radiation. I’m afraid of whether or not I will be strong enough for it, brave enough, positive enough. 6 weeks without the kids, that will suck for them and me. The website states that as long as the children are over the age of 5 and can wear a mask, they can come visit me. I think last time it wasn’t good to be away from them for that long that this time I would like to see them at least when I’m feeling better.

The children have a swim today which meant a super early morning that started at 6:00am that included water bottle prep and PBJs. Kids swam okay but no one really gave their best effort which was disappointing. I myself only walked a short bit today, not enough to call it my best effort either. We did however have a lovely butterfly visitor in the “palace” – M’s swim pop-up tent. A lovely sanctuary away from the beating sun. I was wiped out after chemo today. Exhausted.