Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

My left lymph node started to swell last night shortly after we got home from the fireworks. I could feel it when I turned my neck. This makes me anxious. I haven’t felt my lymph nodes swell since I was diagnosed with leukemia. It has been a long morning.

Unfortunately I was not allowed to get the picc line in my left arm again as it could be a higher risk of DVT (deep vein thrombophlebitis) aka blood clot, so it’s now the right arm. Bring right handed…this is challenging. I sleep on the right side so this will be that much more uncomfortable, things just get harder…eating, peeing dressing, showering all just get a little more difficult. After my picc insertion I went to see Dr P about my lymph node; and I’m back on antibiotics. Sigh. My ANC is very low so it increases my risk of infections. The lack of mobility is driving me up the wall, it’s so uncomfortable.

Round 4 of Chemo today…I can do this! I just have to breathe it out and keep moving. The nurses were warm and excited to see me today, even though I’m excited to see them as well I sure wish I didn’t have to see them. I got the big hydration pack today as I didn’t have enough water today to do chemo. My blood work shows a very slight increase in my WBC but all others with the exception of my ANC is steady.

I didn’t walk today, I haven’t walked since camping. I’d like to walk tomorrow morning but not motivated to walk this evening. I know that I have to really prepare my body for the next round of chemo as well as a future transplant. I have to start thinking about more hydration along with increased exercise. Dr. T (Dr. B is no longer on Dr. P’s service, he was a fellow and is onto another sub-specialty) is the new assistant to Dr. P, spent a considerable bit of time with J and I today during our appoint after Dr. P headed off to clinic. She stated that transplant will be hard, the chemo and radiation before transplant will be more difficult as the chemo cocktail is much harder than the 7 + 3 that I had during my first round of chemo. They will watch for colitis as I had it before, they will watch for allergic reactions as I have a history of it, and they will monitor the body pains and nausea. That alone is cause for me to be anxious but I need to start preparing my body. I didn’t sleep well last night and have not been drinking water the way I should have been, while that is an awful reason for not walking tonight – it is tonight I don’t have it in me.