Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

4.15 mile walk today. I felt good enough this morning to have a nice long walk today. The sun and I raced home, I eeked out a win but I also think the sun let me win as I saw it wink at me in the sky. When J got home I thought I was able to go to the grocery store without the motorized shopping cart, on the condition that he would push the cart. I got at far as the limes and needed to get the motorized cart. Unfortunately before I got to the frozen aisle I need to throw up. I grabbed a plastic produce bag in case I couldn’t make it to the restroom. By the time I opened the door to the stall I had vomit in my mouth and projectile vomited as quietly as I could directly into the toilet. There were two girls chatting among themselves in their youthful ways. I was more concern with them hearing me than the act of vomiting.

I’m struggling to remember what I did today besides a walk this morning and making breaking for the children – I really can’t remember what I did this morning. I guess that’s what happens when days and hours blur together. I’m trying to have more purpose in my days and “live” my life – a PICC will complicate things a little and will require me to be more careful but will not prevent me from doing things (at least I don’t think). It’s funny when you first go through things you have no idea what to expect so you just navigate things. But now knowing what to expect from a PICC and obviously don’t look forward to it – I just have to take things one step at a time.

Excited for the long weekend with the family, even though I don’t work anymore I still look forward to the weekends. J is less on edge on the weekends while the children are more or less the same on the weekends. They do however have calmer energy when everyone is home or maybe some of their energy is directed at J. But there are only going to be so many years left of this kind of chaos as they get older – there will be less and less of a desire to cling to J and I. They will have their own friends, own circles, own lives…so I need to soak this all up.