Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

I could make the excuse that I didn’t get my sneakers delivered on time or that it wasn’t cloudy long enough for my walk. I simply wasn’t motivated today to show up today. I got to thinking about A last night and stayed in a funk. There are friends that come and go, a lot of the times when they go…they go. I’m not terribly one way or another. Its just chapters in your life, and why look back on a book you’ve already read? We watch the movie forwards and we read the book for the next chapter. A made such an impact in those early months with L. I was just so lost, as I’m sure all first time moms are and having her guide me was everything. She was so willing to give me advice on all the steps she already walked through. The last time we spoke was at her son’s 1st birthday party, it was a backyard party and someone was chimney smoking and I was struggling finding a place that I didn’t smell smoke. We ultimately left early. And just like that…our friendship ended.

And that’s how it goes sometimes, friendships fizzle…we go in different directions or are just in different places in life. Logically this is very easy to understand, but the heart doesn’t understand logically. If there was a fight or a disagreement – I think it would be easier to walk away from but when nothing significant happens and the friendship ends, sometimes it’s hard to reconcile. With A, I still think of her from time to time and it gets to me sometimes.

The children and I watched the original TMNT – which was also the very first movie I ever saw in the movie theater. Both children surprisingly liked TMNT…I mean cowabunga! I pointed out the walkman as well as the original Burger King Whopper packaging. L and I started Speed last night and he finished it this morning. I recommended not watching Speed 2, I told him if Keanu bailed…we should too. None of the kids were particularly interested in the Karate Kid and quite frankly I had trouble watching it myself. I hope to start Indiana Jones with L tomorrow and get through all the movies so when the new Indiana comes out he has continuity. But to be honest, I don’t remember much myself.

Getting excited for the upcoming camping trip. I was going to throw caution to the wind and get on a zip line but it was closed. I don’t know if zip line is cancer safe though cancer safe may not equate to YOLO and I need to have a touch of YOLO. Being in a bubble doesn’t serve me mentally even if it serves me physically. I have an appointment with Dr P on Wednesday and would like to know how things are with transplant, finding a donor and my general test results. I’m having a hard time turning up the energy today and will retire for the evening.