Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

Not feeling a million bucks but at least 500K though (hence my post naming). Fog is better – back on Metformin daily to help with the blood sugar. I have a follow up appointment to see if going on the ozempic is better. (Ozempic face + Chemo face and bald – I’m on my way to look like Gollum!) So great for the self-esteem lol. I mean I am the lightest I have been since giving birth so move over Hot Girl Summer…it’s time for #OzempicChemoGirlSummer

Vanity is a funny thing. I never thought I was vain and never really thought my appearance was all that important. At least in high school I had this notion that I was above vanity. The darling uniforms to my zero sense of style was a freedom. Quite frankly, I have an inability to style – I don’t know style. So black is everything in my wardrobe. I would watch the early TLC shows like “What Not To Wear” to see if I could figure it out by osmosis. Newsflash: I never did. I’m still wearing the same old stuff from my early work days. Ultimately everything I owned was office apparel. So when I would go out I would style it with a pair of jeans. During Covid I developed the “athletic-wear” style and no I did not walk daily and lose 50 lbs, nor did I feel one with nature and do yoga by the ocean. I baked and ate. I now that three styles – corporate, athletic (homeless) and confused…where I pick something to wear that I “THINK” looks right and either J tells me to reconsider my choice or S looks as me and asks me what happened. In either scenario – I don’t blame them. My favorite is black on black – NINJA style. When I had long black hair the get up was unparalleled hahaha, all I was missing was my katana.

Today without hair – I am frustrated with my wigs as they don’t look like me. My reflection isn’t what I would like it to be. The bald with patterned spikes make me sad sometimes. The dryness and patchy scales of my face also make me sad. So much for I am not vain. Cause I didn’t have a 9 step nighttime routine. My once porcelain skin is now riddled with dry flakey patches. I prided myself that beyond a little lipstick, I hardly ever wore makeup. Again the reality is that I don’t know how to put makeup on. I don’t know how to contour, blend, foundation…nothing. Eyeliner (and that’s only IF I don’t poke my eye out), mascara (it’s best when I blink RIGHT after and then rub my eyes) cause there’s nothing better than instant raccoon eyes. Then lipstick in the 90’s I added a little flare with lipliner.

Today my skincare routine consists only of coconut oil, morning and night from head to toe. Mostly I’m afraid to use any other ingredients at this point. So grease ball it is. The top of me feet hurt a great deal; google says it could be from walking which I have been doing daily (as long as the sun isn’t in full bloom).