Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

I got the “welcome book” from BeTheMatch.com – it tells me how I need to trust the process. I am starting to do a little baking again, I really enjoyed that during Covid and still do. I don’t have the same stamina as before so the process is slower – there are a few naps in between. A brownie recipe may take a few hours to complete (before baking). J or L will lift the mixer and put it on the counter for me. L will get the heavier ingredients for me and start the mixer and pour the batter…Hmm…I feel like I’m just supervising and not actually baking. They are sous-chefs. I had to say that for my own benefit, except it makes some sense.

I spent the morning doing home logistics, as was on the phone with the utilities company…I fell asleep at one point in the hold music session. “Dunnnn dunnnn dunnnn bu che che che bu che che che.” I never actually got through so I’ll try again I another day. That’s my latest life motto: “Figure it out later.” I don’t necessarily think that is a good life motto – but sometimes I just don’t have enough in the tank to give a f*ck.

L has his Spring Concert tonight, so I am going to get dressed – in actual clothes so I’m not just wearing yoga/jammy pants. Trying to look semi proper. He doesn’t seem too excited and wanted to wear crocs – bro don’t embarrass the family. Put shoes on. I’m not dead.

Had my appointment my with Dr P, he is hopeful that my biopsy will come back clean. I mean what is he going to say? He’s fine with me trying out the peripheral IV of chemo and should it be awful – we can temporarily change to a port line and then a picc at transplant.

The concert was cute, all the grades sang. What caught me as funny were the parents recording the concert. Back in the day it was one Dad with a gigantic video camera and the red blinking light. He was the only videographer and would attend only his kids’ event and zoom in on their kid. So when you watched it back on tape you’d instantly know. Love the lady in the second row just hanging a hand out – super casual. That’s the look of someone who straight has given up and resolved just just hang a arm out to tape the sh*t. L said “Mama were the upper grades fire?” I mumbled under my breathe “You’re missing a word before fire.” J caught it and laughed then called me as as*hole hahaha. Took L a second and then he laughed and said I was a savage. A family that trolls together stays together!

What do you do when the parents of your children’s friend call you by the wrong name? Do you roll with it? Cause I’m Ana now. He got the Na part correct. So I guess it passes. I rolled with it. Cause it’s not worth the effort. Maybe I’ll call my walker Ana. Bam. Walker is named.