Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

Walked down the block yesterday in the early evening, got my the evening sun bath again. Afterwards, looked for something on Netflix Looked through the comedy section and couldn’t find much and then landed on Jo Koy. I laughed. It’s good to have that belly laugh, but even better if you’re going to pee yourself.

Interesting text this morning from a parent, telling me that his child was on their way to mine and ask if I would keep and eye on his kid. Um, you can’t send your kid over to other people’s house on a Saturday morning without asking people first. It was awkward. I showed J the text, oof he was furious. And I get his annoyance. It was very presumptuous but I’m barely getting myself out of bed – I’m not babysitting your kid. This isn’t the first time this parent has done this. Before I got sick, the parent would ask me to pick up their kid because they had a meeting. Bro, I work too. They texted me during my first round of chemo at the hospital to help them set up Wi-Fi scheduling so they could shut down the Wi-Fi at night and prevent the kids from watching YouTube in the middle of the night. Again bro, call the cable provider? I’m not IT.

The remainder of today was spent clearing the registration for swim team. Summer season starts in 4 weeks. It gives me something to do and keeps my mind occupied. Then it was more Jo Koy, which was very entertaining and allowed me to laugh and then nap. Afterwards, it was chemo which wasn’t too bad. I was the normal level of tired and my WBC went down to 10.6 which is great since it was creeping up again.

Kids are being kids again, which means bickering among themselves and acting a fool. I remember as a kid “More gratitude, less attitude.” Which I understand isn’t easy for an 11 or 9 year old to grasp. But I also understand that everything is done for them. Cause I’m the one doing it. Can find your socks? I’ll help you. Forget your lunch at home? I’ll bring it. Can’t find your jacket? I’ll look for you. Tell me the night before that you need a Pioneer outfit for Pioneer Day? I’ll go to Target at 9:30pm. Yea, these kids are spoiled. I do everything. Why? Because I’m crazy. Truly, because I was a latchkey kid. I spent a lot of time solo. My parents worked multiple jobs to keep food on the table. There was no one to find my stuff for me. No one to make waffles or pancakes for breakfast. I had to figure things out myself. No one drove me to school, if I forgot my umbrella…I’d be cold and drenched at school. If I forgot my books, I got in trouble and faced the consequences at school. But largely that’s how a lot of us grew up. It was without frills. Children now are “triggered” by everything. There was no such thing as “gentle parenting” when I was a kid. Don’t want to get beat? Don’t talk back and finish your chores. It’s different today…now I’m not gentle parenting, but I’m not beating my kids. I don’t subscribe to the everyone gets an award way of parenting. You get #1 or you don’t. And if you don’t – that’s okay. Practice makes better. I am firm believe in “Winners never quit, and quitters never win” mentality. I don’t expect my kids to be the best at everything, but I expect a genuine effort. So I’m in between the old ways of parenting that I grew up with and the new gentle parenting. Though, I have more old ways then new gentle ways. Do I want you to drink from the hose? No, please don’t…that’s plastic and I’m sure has BPA. But at the same time GTFO of my house. Go ride your bike or go to the park. Please wear your LoJack device and get out. When it comes to homework, I went to school already so you figure it out. Happy to support you if you need tools that are necessary to complete your homework. You need a mouse pad? Mouse? Keyboard? I got you. You can’t remember your Google Classroom password? Not my problem. Email your teacher. Side note: Thanks Covid for all those online BS. Homework was much easier when you assigned the pages from the Math or Social Studies text book.

I need to do less for then and let them figure things out so they know that their actions have actual consequences. Maybe they are hungry when they forget their lunch. No one is malnourished…skipping a meal isn’t going to kill anyone. You forget your homework. You’ll have to figure it out with the teacher. Perhaps the less I do, the more they will learn. Besides where I am today, I got to put my own mask on first.

At least the kids have adjusted to the “new” normal. Their feistiness let’s me know their resilience. I know they are still young, but they need to start being more “uncomfortable” and I need take care of me. As such, off to bed.