Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Energy?

Where did all the energy go?

The new view

That’s the new view curled up on the recliner with a quilt and my baby’s baby blanket…and sock shoes. It’s not the ocean view as before but having the kiddos meander around the kitchen in the morning is a way better. Watch them eat breakfast and like a tornado I get “Bye Mama. See you later!” No sweeter sound. Tomorrow we head to City of Hope in Duarte for the HLA testing and orientation. I’ll have a new doctor Dr P will be running the transplant portion. Just another cog in this process.

I read through my advisory review today. 90% of the words I don’t understand. Quite frankly I don’t want to understand. Without a bone marrow transplant there is a 90% chance the cancer will come back. That’s lovely. Well I still have cancer so thank you advisory review. Tomorrow is going to be long day. After COH I have to get my PICC cleaned. Not quite sure how I’m going to have the energy for it all. Power nap in the car. Today I did nothing. I napped twice and did absolutely nothing but nap. I sleep the day away. Real productive. The wave of the sleep is intense. The weight loss is equally intense, 22lbs lost. Blink of an eye. 10/10 would not recommend this weight loss program. It sucks. It’s not the fat. That’s still will me. I’m skin, bones and jiggle-jaggle; only muscle loss. More insult to injury. Positive part is that my A1C could have decreased. Won’t know until we do the blood draw for my PCP. Fingers crossed for some good news from a doctor, any doctor.

8:00pm Catching a little of the SF Giants game on TV. It instantly makes me sleepy. It always has. I don’t know if it’s the announcers voices…but I’m instantly in sleepy town whenever baseball is on. Giants are losing 4-2 at the moment. Bummer.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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