Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Zebras

The pathologist called Dr C. I need another round chemotherapy.

I need to let this settle in. I’m faking it. I’m not okay. I’m not okay. My heart is racing. I’m not okay. Why? Why is it always Zebras? Why can’t it be horses?

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Nina

One response to “Zebras”

  1. Bill Loudermilk Avatar
    Bill Loudermilk

    Nina, I’ve been following some of your posts and progress. You’re an amazing person…never doubt that. Sure, the effects of all those chemicals is a HUGE challenge and you’re clearly up to it despite feeling really crappy. Cancer in its various forms is flat mean. You’re meaner! Been trying to follow the chapters in “Hot Mess” . Some things (treatments, effects and thoughts) you describe remind me of when Roberta went through chemo and radiation treatments for esophageal cancer 5 years ago. I’d guess Jason and I have things associated in common as well. C kicks our asses…we gotta kick back harder! Hang in there, keep up your journaling, share feelings, fight hard and Love all you can. Remember, there is a brighter horizon out there for you, Jason and your sweet kids. BTW, Bert and I enjoyed getting to know L and S a little more while we, Anja and Kait bowled a couple games here in Fresno.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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