Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

4:30pm. A blessed Sunday. I slept until 6:30am. Woke up, stretched to the peaking sunshine at the horizon. The marine layer made it easy for me to snuggle back to bed for and extra nappy nap. Meds and Vitals around 7. Then just relaxed. I walked 3 laps with Nurse Jo since my stats are low I can’t be out there solo. I can’t be rogue lol. After 3 laps the S was done cleaning my room, I thanked her for that and came back and settled into the room again. To be honest I spent most of today listening to music – ever since I was little I’ve loved music. Wasn’t a great pianist, but could pass. I loved singing, but always felt less so didn’t want to embarrass myself. But music was always my time machine. I could hear a song and it would ALWAYS transport me back to a memory. Creep ASF example: As a dumb New York kid my friend V and I decided on Halloween we were going to drive to the Amityville Horror House at Midnight! We were going to get out of the damn car… no! We just wanted to DRIVE BY. Genius! Brilliant idea! Just Solid. (The house is located on 112 Ocean Avenue.) As we turn right on Merrick Road… the radio plays: Yellowcard: There’s a place off Ocean Avenue. Where I used to sit and talk with you. (We straight up pee’d ourselves). I laugh now, but nah…I’m good LOL. Point is I had a full day of cycling through my favorite songs that just time traveled me and it was lovely!

I started to write thank you cards and noticed my handwriting was different. I was shakey, and not bubbly or pretty anymore. I stared at the card and while I was disappointed that the writing didn’t look like mine anymore, I finished it and sealed it in the envelope. Maybe old me had beautiful bubbly hand writing. 90’s bubble gum pop! Current me, doesn’t have pretty bubbly handwriting, it’s shakey and weird, but as Maureen sings it: Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn take me baby…or leave me! I tried some more protein shake and slept some more. Woke up when Kevin beeped (antibiotics were done). Thank you Kevin! Lunch had delivered for a while apparently. Not too hungry anyway. So when Nurse R came in to remove the antibiotics I asked if I could be disconnected from Kevin to shower. And just like that I feel like a new person. The water just washes it all away. It washes those crazy thoughts away.

It’s almost time for my evening sun bath! I’m going to get my sun in!!! Today was ANOTHER good day. I am grateful!