Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

There is a little hawk that glides by my window hunting for its breakfast in the morning. It sings it’s song and glides again. I haven’t actually witness success or failure yet, but it’s there as a reminder to me that we all struggle. My initial intent of the blog was a therapeutic free write so help me navigate up and downs (it was secretly a letter to my children if I were not to have a favorable outcome). The descent from chemo has had many bumps, most recently the change in taste, almost a metallic taste on everything. Lack of appetite. I think that’s also due to the colitis fear.

I am super excited for S’s Auntie and Me Day (It was a Mommy and Me Day) but we called in a audible. Auntie K is going to take S for sweet treats and get her nails done for her birthday party next week! Shes going to be so excited. I think Auntie F and Uncle R maybe taking L to some big boy stuff lol. I’ve been here for 21 days. I’m an introvert by nature so being in a room with an ocean view…for 21 days, doesn’t bother me, it’s missing out on watching S ride her bike to me at pick with a big wave. It’s missing L walk past me to say hi to Yogi…and then “hey mama” Turd!

I hope I feel good enough to walk the room, I’ve been stuck laying here since the colitis was at it’s highest. I had a good long interrupted sleep from 11pm until 6am. I’m ready for you, update the board, scan my machines, change the battery on George, housekeeping, nutrition, vitals, more meds. Let’s Go!