Battle Hymns of a Hot Mess Mom

One day at a time…

Fri-yay Fun

4:02pm

It’s Friday. I know I need another platelet transfusions and my hemoglobin dropped down to 6.6 so another unit of O+ blood my my vampire self. Blood in first, took a nap. Blood ended. Platelet next, took a nap. Then around 2:00pm towards the end of the transfusion I started to cough and felt like a sore throat. I asked J for a drink of water and he asked me if my face hurt. I thought this man was gonna troll me for some blanket impressions on my face! No. I got a sip of water. He said your eyes have welts on them. I noticed I couldn’t fully open my left eye. Dr C and Alli walked in just as this happened. Dr C ordered some Benadryl and Steroids via IV. We moved on to the Day 15 scan. It was not conclusive for the pathologist to rule it as clear. So we repeat this Biopsy on Monday. I don’t know what to make of that, he says it happens. But some people also have to do a second round of chemo. So I’m anxious. He listened to my lungs and heard some raspy gurgling and assured me it’s an allergic reaction. I would be ok. After they left I ask J for another sip of water. Except now the hives were everywhere, my arms, neck and chest. I felt my throat was closing up. Can a sister catch a break?! Worst spa ever! J went directly to the nurses station and boom 4 nurses including the Nurse In Charge M (Thank you for no Donna). My airway was narrowing. Discomfort. Gurgling. Discomfort. Heart rate is 223. Very uncomfortable. Nurse R came into to do breaks. She looked me in the eye. I got you. We got you. Benadryl, Steroids by IV. Oxygen. I can breathe. Okay. I’m okay. Twice Nurse R has saved me. 4:30pm The swelling in my left eye is slowly subsiding. I’m ok. This too shall pass.

Sunset Bath

This time around 4:45pm – 5:15pm. My room is bathed in this light of reds, golds, yellow and oranges. It’s such a rejuvenating experience to watch these colors. It really makes you realize just how small we are.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Nina. I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend. I am lover of country music, & 80’s love ballad. I love me some karaoke! I identify as hot mess mom. I get it wrong, all the time. On the rare occasions I get it right? Even I’m shocked.

I am a working professional in the field of Compliance. I am mother two, daughter to immigrant parents, wife to a “redneck” – and proud of it, sister-in-law to the two most incredible human beings I have ever met and a niece that is just so cool but doesn’t know it.

I work too hard and play too little. I’ve always focus on the wrong thing and never quite sure if I’m ever enough. I grew up on the East Coast and was a latchkey kid in the 80’s and 90’s – I dodged the sketchy people on the walk home and tried not to end up on a milk carton.

I went to a very privileged Boarding School on the East Coast and college after that. (So yeah that’s exactly why this journal will be riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. On the days I feel good, I’ll type it out. On the days I don’t feel good it’ll be voice to text. I can not be held liable for the things Siri puts in as my “voice”. ) Graduated on a Friday and started Fleet Bank on a Saturday. I hustled my way through the midnight shift at DHL and hustled and hustled and hustled. I knew nothing except the hustle. (As I said, I’m a hot mess mom).

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